


Blue Christmas

by Gizmodo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, Some angst, lots of gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8686840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gizmodo/pseuds/Gizmodo
Summary: Christmas is - without a doubt - Kara Danver's favorite holiday. There's just... something about how everything takes on a magical feeling when it's this time of year that Kara can't get enough of. (She also can't get enough of the food and sweets associated with the holiday, but that's beside the point.)---Christmas is - without a doubt - Lena Luthor's least favorite holiday. There's just... something about how everything takes on a melancholic feeling when it's this time of year that Lena has had enough of. (She's also had enough of the reminders that she has nothing and no one to celebrate with for the holiday, but that's beside the point.)





	1. If Only I Could Reach the Ground Below Me; It's Not My Fault the World Put Me on a Pedestal

**Author's Note:**

> So, I started listening to Christmas music on Spotify (tis the season and all that) and heard She & Him's version of "Blue Christmas". Well, needless to say, Zooey Deschanel got me all "feely" and this is what happened. I am such SuperCorp trash. Enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, constructive criticism is highly, highly encouraged and much appreciated. I haven't written in awhile and this has been un-beta'd and drafted in the wee, wee hours of the morning. (Ah, don't you just love when inspiration hits at ungodly hours?)
> 
> Was originally marked as "Not Rated" but I changed it to "Teen and Up" because of reasons.

She shouldn't still be at work - it is a holiday, after all. She knows this, but for her, there's nothing to celebrate anymore, and so... she works.

It's not until someone knocks at her office door and startles her back to reality that she realizes exactly how **much** she's been working. The clock on her computer monitor reads 5:34pm and her stomach registers with a loud grumble that she hasn't eaten in... well over ten hours - and like most things ignored, once acknowledged, her stomach makes itself **known**.

Unfortunately, the sudden demand from her empty stomach has her mentally picturing potstickers - which of course, has her instantly salivating. She forcefully shoves the thought away immediately because, first of all: "why potstickers?" and second of all: "WHY POTSTICKERS?"

Another quiet knock draws her attention away from her inner musings(/cravings) and to the door where her assistant is letting herself into her office. "Miss Luthor, are you planning on heading home soon, seeing as it's Christmas Eve?"

Rubbing her eyes to wipe the never-ending numbers and words of L-Corp's latest business report from their lackadaisical swimming in her peripheries, Lena rises from behind her desk and smooths down the front of her dress. Giving Jess a small smile, she moves towards her assistant and sighs, "No, I don't believe so Jess. I suspect I'll have a long night ahead of me going over the newest reports from our R&D lab in Metropolis. You're free to head home; I'm sorry I've kept you from your family for as long as I have. Go and enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Are you sure Miss? I don't mind staying for awhile longer. Or you could come to my place and have dinner with my family? I wouldn't want you to be alone on Christmas Eve."

It stings a little to think that Jess' first assumption is that she'll be alone tonight, but it hurts a little more to realize that it's not even an unfair assumption. Still... "Thank you for the offer, but it's quite unnecessary. Truly, I'll be fine." In a show of appreciation, Lena rubs her hand up and down Jess' upper arm, much to the surprise of the other woman. "Go home and take the next few days off, you've earned it. Merry Christmas, Jess."

Thankfully, her assistant doesn't seem inclined to push the issue anymore and smiles at Lena as she goes to collect up her things for the night. "As you wish, Miss Luthor. Thank you and Merry Christmas to you, too. I'll see you in a few days."

A ding from the elevator and a small wave from Jess later, Lena is alone once more in her kingdom. Or... what's left of her inherited kingdom, anyway. L-Corp may be on the mend, but Lex did a lot of damage to its (and her) reputation with his obsessive, destructive vendetta against Superman.

Just thinking about it hurts her head. She's been in National City for months now, doing what she can to atone for her brother's sins, but sometimes it's felt like she's been losing more ground with the people than she's been gaining. There's been controversy at every turn because, "How could a Luthor possibly want to do good without an ulterior motive?" Because, "How could a Luthor possibly be pro-alien and not have some angle?" Because, "How could we trust a Luthor after what Lex has done?" The media just would not let the past stay in the past; they wouldn't let her forget her brother's 'legacy'.

Would anything she did ever be enough to prove that she's not her brother?

Lena sighs at her (frequently visited) train of thought and moves to her well-stocked mini bar, pulling down her most expensive bottle of whiskey and pouring herself a very healthy dose. She knocks back the amber liquid like a pro - only gasping slightly at the smooth burn down her throat - and pours herself another glass to savor.

She sips the second glass slowly, the warmth settling in her belly nicely. It reminds Lena of a similar warmth she feels around a certain CatCo reporter and she smiles to herself a bit. Nothing's been easy since moving here, but she's incredibly thankful for her burgeoning friendship with Kara Danvers - it makes her feel grounded. It makes her feel... normal and special at the same time.

Thinking about the reporter has Lena wondering what Kara's up to, and before she's consciously aware of it, she's reaching for her phone to give the blonde a call. She's dialing Kara's number before abruptly remembering that the other woman is more than likely busy with celebrating the holiday with her family and close friends.

Slight twinges of loneliness and jealousy wash over her as she envisions Kara in a festive sweater, singing and joking and laughing with her close-knit group. She shakes it off, though, because it's not fair to herself or Kara to feel that way, and the tiny voice in the back of her head that reminds her that life isn't fair is easily silenced with a deep sip of whiskey. Two sips more drains her glass and Lena decides she needs a little music to make the lonely evening a little more bearable. 

Throat burning and body feeling deliciously liquid, she turns on the requisite corporate holiday playlist and the sounds of Christmas fill her empty office. Gentle voices and soft guitars serenade her as she sways side-to-side with her empty glass held close to her heart.

The longer she dances by herself in her office, though, the harder it is for her to keep her eyes open. The reality that she's all alone for another consecutive year is almost too unbearable to face and it's always easier to leave reality behind with eyes closed... right? So, she lets go; she lets her eyes drift closed and allows her mind to ponder the 'what if's, 'could have been's, and 'could be's.

_**"I'll have a blue Christmas without you... I'll be so blue just thinking about you..."** _

Lena freezes mid-sway, breath all but gone from her lungs and hand clutching dangerously tight to her whiskey tumbler. A soft voice that doesn't sound like it's part of the song is singing from behind her.

**_"Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree..."_ **

Whipping around in place, she's not entirely sure what to expect, but it's definitely **not** Supergirl singing to her from her balcony. Yet, that's exactly what's happening. 

**_"Won't mean a thing dear, if you're not here with me..."_ **

As a Luthor, Lena had been raised to be calm, cool, and collected at all times. Endless lecturing and prepping from her adoptive parents had readied her for any kind of surprise in the boardroom. But this? There was no preparing for this. So, really, it was to be expected when her whiskey tumbler hit the ground with a spectacular twinkle of shattering glass.

A blink later and Supergirl is mere inches from her. A wave of lemon and mint with a slight undercurrent of what she believes wind must smell like assails Lena's nostrils and her stomach swoops because she **knows** that smell, but she flinches from the idea because what if she's right?

"Oh my gosh! Miss Luthor, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! I just... I saw your lights on and then I heard the music and thought that it was kind of strange that you were still here on Christmas Eve and I wanted to make sure you were okay and then the song switched and I couldn't help but sing along even though it's a sad song as far as Christmas songs go and I didn't realize that I would scare you and, and..." Strong hands begin waving around Lena frantically as Supergirl rambles on and on, "I'm just so, so sorry and I understand completely if you're mad at me for startling you and if you want me to leave I'll go and -"

As endearing as it is to see the usually ever-confident heroine stumbling over her words, Lena takes pity on her in that moment and raises her hand, a small smile playing at her lips. "Supergirl, it's fine. No harm done. I simply wasn't expecting any visitors tonight, least of all serenading superheroes on my private balcony."

She raises an eyebrow slightly as the blonde blushes furiously in front of her. _That's new._

"Still, I'm sorry. It was rude of me to just assume that I could do something like that."

Lena waves away her apology and starts towards her desk, leaning against it with her palms pressed into the edge. "It's fine, really. That's what friends do, right? Drop in for unexpected visits?"

Confusion creates a small furrow in Supergirl's brow but a hesitant albeit genuine smile is lifting the corners of the hero's mouth. "We're friends?"

Lena's own lips pull into small smile of her own. "Of course, Supergirl. We've known each other for awhile now and I trust you with my life. Plus, you make one hell of a listener when needed." A thought makes Lena worry her bottom lip, though, and she crosses her arms loosely - protectively - over her stomach. "Unless, of course, you still think a Luthor and a Super can't be friends?"

Confidence and full smile back in place, Supergirl approaches her and settles her hands on Lena's shoulders. The warmth and weight of those hands feels intimately familiar, but Lena refuses to give credence to notions fueled by whiskey. "I think that you, Lena Luthor, and I, Supergirl, can be anything we want to be."

And in that moment, nothing else is important. With just a few words, Lena's fear of failing in this city - of failing to pull her family's name from the muck and mud Lex, and Lillian, Luthor dragged it through - is alleviated by the one person in all of National City with the most reason to despise and disparage her. In that moment, she has hope that her efforts to prove that she and L-Corp are a force for good have not and will not be in vain.

"Thank you, Supergirl." She leans forward and slips her arms around the firm, warm waist of the Girl of Steel. A gentle weight graces her shoulders as Supergirl wraps her arms protectively around her head and Lena lets out a small sigh of contentment.

Time passes slowly as they embrace and it's not until minutes later that Supergirl breaks the quiet with a hushed question in Lena's ear. "The song you were playing earlier, the one I sang... Were you playing that for your brother?"

Lena's grip tightens briefly before she relaxes and pulls back from the embrace. "The playlist is random and I can assure you, my brother was not who I was thinking of."

The Kryptonian gives her a look that's both open and guarded, like she's dying to ask the question but afraid to know the answer. Finally, the question wins out because Supergirl chews on her lip for a moment more before blurting out, "Who were you thinking of, then?"

 

The air grows heavy around them and time slows, as if someone has pressed pause on the world so that the two of them could just exist in and enjoy this one, infinite moment before everything changes.

 

It's the penultimate moment; Lena knows it in her gut. She's long suspected Supergirl's real identity - and she's been happy to play along in the charade to prove that she can be trusted - but this is when she plays all of her cards, sobriety be damned. It's both thrilling and terrifying.

And poor Supergirl looks so afraid of her answer, yet so earnest - blue eyes wide and beseeching -, that Lena can't help but reach out and touch her cheek in reassurance.

Voice barely above a whisper, Lena confesses what will ultimately change her whole life.

 

 

"It was you, Kara. I was thinking of you. You make my Christmas a little less blue."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questioning tangent (sort of): is anyone else like Lena and wondering, "why potstickers?" Like, is that a "writers randomly decided Kara Danvers loves potstickers" thing or a "Melissa Benoist loves potstickers and the writers are incredibly acquiescent." thing? I mean, don't get me wrong, potstickers are phenomenal... but they're so random in this show? Anyway, I digress.


	2. The Ground is Your Home, Too; I Will Help You Find Your Way Down From Your Pedestal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was you, Kara. I was thinking of you. You make my Christmas a little less blue."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, Kara's point of view!

Hearing those words falling softly from Lena Luthor's lips feels like a one-two punch to the gut - a feeling that isn't exactly new to Kara but nevertheless blindsides her. Instead of being painful, though, it feels almost... magical; like the breathless exhilaration she feels when she's flying. It's an affect Lena has had on her before but never to this degree. And logically, she knows that _maybe_ a small part of her should be worried that a Luthor has figured out her secret, but she just can't find it in herself to care - not even a little bit. Lena has proven time and again that she's everything Lex is not: generous, empathetic, kind, caring, and, above all else,  **good**.

The moments following Lena's confession stretch on quietly and Kara can practically feel the atmosphere shift from somber and tense to something soft and delicate as the young Luthor realizes that Kara's still there.

A mixed expression of relief and raw vulnerability passes over Lena's face, making Kara's heart clench and her stomach do backflips because Lena _understands_ what Kara's continued presence means; Lena recognizes her lack of denial or exit for what it is: trust and confirmation. And those eyes - _Rao_ , those beautiful turquoise eyes - shine with gratitude and hope and... maybe something a little bit more.

(And truth be told, at this point, Kara's not even sure if all of this is really happening anymore or if she's being consumed by another Black Mercy. (She thinks that if it's the latter, the Black Mercy can have her, if only so she can live forever in this small blip of time.))

Pale hands frame her face tenderly - thumbs stroking her cheeks - and the urge to do something incredibly rash becomes overwhelming.

Kara's only just starting to lean into the touch when her conscious - sounding suspiciously like Alex in "big sister mode" - reminds her that now is probably not the best time to be making bold moves.

Begrudgingly, she tamps the impulse down; there are some questions that need to be answered before this... whatever 'this' is - goes any further. Sighing internally, Kara carefully covers Lena's hands with her own to halt their distracting ministrations. "Lena, now that you know - **truly** know -, we need to talk about this." The small smile that graces Lena's lips conveys that she expected nothing less. "Exactly how long have you known?"

Twisting their fingers together loosely, Lena brings their hands down to hang entwined between their bodies. Her smile morphs and grows, and to Kara, it seems almost cheeky. "About seven months." Definitely cheeky.

Kara's eyes widen in shock because holy **crap**. "Why haven't you said anything before now?! And how did you even find out?" A perfectly sculpted eyebrow is raised at her, and yeah, Kara feels a touch silly for asking that last question. "Lex told you, didn't he?"

At that, Lena scoffs, rolls her eyes, and releases Kara's hands to cross her arms over her stomach.

(To someone who doesn't know Lena well, her reaction would seem decidedly blasé, but Kara **does** know Lena well and she sees the gesture for what it is: a defense mechanism. Though the hurt is cleverly masked behind a wry twisting of lips, Kara can see the sorrow in Lena's eyes and the inherent protectiveness of her stance, and she hates herself for automatically assuming that Lex was the reason Lena knew.)

"Lex did nothing of the sort - he and I aren't exactly on 'speaking terms' right now. Nor have we been. Thirty-two consecutive life sentences and a cozy little cell in Cell Block X typically has that effect on sibling bonding time. Besides, to my knowledge, he knows next to nothing about you... aside from the fact that you've kept him from murdering me on multiple occasions." And, _Rao_ , Kara's heart **aches** at the pure anguish and bitterness she hears hidden within the quip. She opens her mouth to apologize or offer comfort or something to try and take away the pain she's inadvertently caused, but Lena is already pushing through the moment and moving on. "Anyway, it wasn't exactly hard for me to figure out. Little things here and there didn't quite add up, and every once and awhile, you'd say things that were just plain... odd." A brief flashback of her telling Lena she'd flown to her office on a bus makes Kara cringe and concede the point silently.

Lena must note her cringe, though, because suddenly, she's smirking at Kara and stepping a little closer. "I suspected there was more to you since the day we met, Miss Danvers. However, it wasn't until your mysterious disappearance and reappearance at the children's hospital gala that I realized exactly how **much** more to you there was." Kara hangs her head and pinches the bridge of her nose, groaning, because of course Lena saw through **that** ill-advised masquerade.

The CEO lets out a peal of genuine laughter at Kara's hangdog expression and it takes every ounce of her Kryptonian strength to keep herself from swooning at the sound.  _Ugh, this woman is going to be the death of me._ (Which definitely makes Kara snort in disbelieving amusement at the sheer irony of it all.)

The sound is completely unintentional, and although Lena's post-laughter grin is playful, her eyes are suddenly very calculating as she starts to trail her finger tip lightly over the House of El symbol emblazoned on Kara's chest. "Why do I get the feeling you and I were just amused by two different things?"

And, yeah, she may be an alien, but that absolutely does not mean she's immune to the touch of a beautiful woman; a fierce blush races up Kara's neck and over her cheeks. Her face burns red hot as she internally bemoans both Lena's astuteness and her body's reaction. (She blames it all on the whiplash-like changes in tone and mood surrounding this whole interaction; the entire evening is leaving Kara a little dizzy and very baffled.)

Lena looks at her expectantly and now Kara's feeling even more wrong-footed than before. She knows that she should tell Lena what she thought because it **was** funny (and part of trust is telling the truth), but joking about a Super's death at the hands of a Luthor - even figuratively - immediately after confirming her secret identity seemed a little... too soon.

_You're really putting your foot in it tonight, Danvers. May as well get it over with._

Sheepishly, Kara rubs the back of her neck and blurts out in one breath, "Iwasjustlaughingatmyselfforthinkingyouwouldbethedeathofme."

A quirked eyebrow is Lena's only reaction.

Kara grimaces and forces herself to repeat what she said at a more understandable speed, "I said... I was just laughing at myself for thinking that you would be the death of me..."

"I see." is Lena's incredibly unhelpful response.

"I only meant it figuratively! Like, I don't think you'd actually try to hurt or kill me - _Rao_ , no -, I just... you just... and I know that -" Kara fumbles and instead gesticulates between them, the right words to explain escaping her.

Without warning, Lena starts to chuckle and shake her head in gentle amusement. Kara's frantic explanations die on her tongue. "Relax, _Supergirl_ , I can appreciate the irony of the situation we find ourselves in, too."

Relief washes over Kara and she lets out a heavy sigh. "Okay, phew. You had me going there, Luthor." She starts to laugh as well.

Her laughter is quickly cut short, though, by a pair of soft lips pressing gently to the corner of her mouth. All of a sudden, her senses are overtaken by everything _Lena_.

She can smell the alcohol on the CEO's breath as Lena's lips hover inches from her own, feel the heat of her body as it barely grazes her own. Kara feels a slight shiver run down her spine and her eyes flutter closed as Lena whispers lowly into the air between them, "I am a broken and battered human being, Kara. I am so very flawed and I have more baggage than I know how to handle. I can't promise you that I will never hurt you - now or ever -, but I **swear** to you that I will never do it intentionally. Your secret will always be safe with me."

It's the sincerity - the utter conviction - in Lena's voice that finally breaks Kara's earlier restraint. She darts forward and kisses Lena soundly, one hand sliding around to the back of Lena's neck, the other sliding down to her hip.

Lena gasps into the kiss and reciprocates easily, her fingers winding themselves into Kara's hair, making her groan in appreciation. Their lips move against each other naturally and Kara pulls the other woman closer, pressing their bodies together fully. It feels like finally being able to take a deep breath after being submerged underwater for too long. It feels like this is where they were meant to be on this fine Christmas Eve.

 

It feels absolutely magical.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I thought I was only going to do two chapters, but I decided to split this chapter and make it three. The last chapter will basically be pure fluff. Stay tuned.
> 
> Huzzah!


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